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The Wright Stuff is an episode of The Cross-Time Adventures of Colonel Tick-Tock.


Patreon exclusive.


WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars


Colonel Tick-Tock and Dorothy Parker are hunting butterflies in the rain forest, in order to help save the world from the terrible effects on time from them flapping their wings. Trick Clock activates and Queen Victoria greets both Tick-Tock and Dorothy Parker.

The Queen sends Tick-Tock to early 20th Century America, as the Wright Brothers need him. However, she doesn't recall what the problem is, and says that they invented the Aerobicycle. Dorothy corrects the Queen, who is insulted, until Dorothy also forgets what the Wright Brothers did. Tick-Tock has Trick Clock seal them both in a bubble of history, and has the Queen tell him everything she knows. The Wright Brothers are now from Boston, and when hanging a clock above a toilet, slipped and when they came to had a shared vision of the Air Bicycle, which they then invented. Their first flight took place at Sully's Bar on a hill, and Orville married a woman named Kitty Hawke, who Wilbur is also in love with. Orville also resembled an overlarge baby as an adult, and Wilbur had two rear ends.

Sensing the urgency, Tick-Tock and Trick Clock travel to visit the Wright Brothers. The brothers are arguing with each other, while Kitty is astonished at Tick-Tock's appearance. Trick Clock scans the area, finds K of the Cosmos nearby, and declares he is the reason for all the issues. K introduces himself in his usual way, and Trick Clock says K is from Dimension Blue. K scans Trick Clock back, and disappears him to Hawaii.

Orville and Wilbur continue arguing, while K explains how he's a tourist, there to meet all of the famous heroes of Earth and to vex them for fun. K then pulls a thunder lizard (pterodactyl) out of the Mesozoic era. Kitty and the Wrights are astonished, but also note how the wings help them fly so effortlessly. K is vexed at Tick-Tock calling the pterodactyl, who he names Squawky, a dinosaur. K asks the others why he named the pterodactyl "Squawky", but the answer is at the bottom of their menus, which he makes appear in their hands. The answer is because he squawks, but also for fun and whimsy.

K admits he made the time stream topsy-turvy and disturbed the Wright Brother's lives. Tick-Tock explains to the Brothers what has happened to them. Kitty asks if she's been changed, or if her ambitions, to both cause and cure cancer, were fulfilled in the correct time-stream. This vexes both Tick-Tock and K.

K says that to put things right, Tick-Tock must vex K as K has vexed him. Tick-Tock says he already did that, with the dinosaur business, which he did on purpose. K rewrites the rules, saying Tick-Tock now must trick him into saying something he wouldn't normally say, which will be more difficult than even whistling. Tick-Tock says he's a Shakespeare trained whistler, which K asks if Tick-Tock will train him to also do. This vexes K, and declares that this vexing will send him back to Dimension Blue, thus changing the rules back in order to vex Tick-Tock.

As he leaves, K returns Trick Clock to Tick-Tock. Trick Clock, now very drunk on pina coladas, sets everything back to normal, including Kitty Hawk turning back into a town, except the Wright Brothers are still from Boston, a change with Tick-Tock likes.




This episode was recorded at Largo February 1st, 2014 on and released on April 7th, 2014.