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The Thing From This Same Planet! is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.


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WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars

Detailed Description

The episode opens with Sparks Nevada annoyed that no one, especially Croach, noticed that he'd been replaced with a Jupiter Spy while he was on Earth at a Marshal's conference.  "Croach" (actually Jib Janeen) attempts to convince Sparks to let his guard down and give up his password.

Felton enters the Marshal Station. He recaps the recent events again and includes that Sparks sent him to go find a scientist to perform DNA tests to find the Jupiter Spy. Doctor Muller enters the Marshal station, announcing that everyone might be doomed, and he's come to scan their DNA. He says when he was scanning the area, he found evidence of the endo-parasitoid extraterrestrial species, the Infectoid Geigermiter.  

The Infectoid Geigermiter progenerates by seeking out a warm, fleshy mammalian, any mammalian sentient, and gives your face a "bad hug," then unleashes its lavapositor into your throat and lays its larva in your belly. Once the larva is inside, it grows up quick, and multiplies. When your body can't hold it any longer, the larva come tearing out of your body like 1000 razor toothed bees and destroy your body in the wake. They break all your bones and rend all your flesh, as the larva are expunged into oxygen, leaving you little more than a puddle of viscera and tattered skin-stuffs. Then they take over the planet. The Infectoid Geigermiter also wipes the memory of being larvaposited from the carrier.

Muller says he still needs to detect the Infectoid Geigermiter and then he can destroy it. Felton moans as if in pain, but says he's just squeamish.

Muller also says Croach can't be infected because his nanotech would expel it, but "Croach" wants to be tested to make sure he's not infected anyway.  Sparks is suspicious of this and recites several instances Croach's nanotech has saved Croach's life. Sparks also points out that Croach doesn't use figures of speech or contractions as he has been, and also today he has designated nanotech "nanotech" instead of "Nah Nohtek" as well as designated G'loot Praktaw as Mars. Sparks concludes that Croach must be acting weird because he's afraid of the needles in Doctor Muller's DNA testing kit. Janeen, relived that his ruse is working, agrees.

Croach, Sparks, Felton, and Muller get their blood tested, and none are impregnated by the alien.    

The Red Plains Rider enters the Marshal station, not feeling well. Jib Janeen offers to tell Red what's going on, and when he does, Red also notices Croach is using contractions and acting weird.  

Sparks gets Doctor Muller to admit that he's never seen any of these Infectoid Geigermiters. Sparks realizes Muller is a mad scientist and the creatures probably don't exist. Muller says that his instrument does detect a parasite in a nearby host body. Red finally admits she has something in her: she's pregnant.

Red says the baby is Cactoid Jim's. Or possibly Sparks Nevada's.

Theme Song

There are a number of changes to the theme song due to Jib Janeen pretending to be Croach and commenting throughout. Several lines are missed or partially missed because Marc Evan Jackson would laugh.

Sparks Nevada: I'm... from Earth.
Jib Janeen: I'm from Mars.
Sparks Nevada: Which we call.... yeah all right.
Jib Janeen: Okay!

Sparks Nevada
When there's varmints need a' catching
And younguns need a' saving
On my rocket steed I race across the stars

(Jib Janeen: Good plan!)

For I've sworn by the burrs of my astro spurs
to right the outlaw wrongs on Mars.

(Jib Janeen: That's where we are!)

(Chorus: Yes he rights the outlaw wrongs on Mars!)

(Jib Janeen: Did he stutter?)

Oh the hypercattle's humming
And the Marjun savage drumming
Are as beautiful as comet bugs in jars.

(Jib Janeen: Poke some holes in the lid!)

Oh I'm from Earth!

(Jib Janeen: So what?)

But I right the outlaw wrongs on Mars.

(Chorus: Yes he rights the outlaw wrongs on Mars!)

(Jib Janeen: I thought there was more words to this song.)

On the plains of the red planet I uphold the law

(Jib Janeen: Good looking out!)

And I do it with a pair of robot fists.

(Chorus: POW!)

(Jib Janeen: [Pause] Pow!)

Evil extermination I have faced
For my robot rogues they hardly ever miss!

(Chorus: Hardly ever miss!)

(Jib Janeen: Hardly!)

And I reckon I'll be riding
In the name of truth and justice
For as long as I can count the shooting stars

(Jib Janeen: Long time!)

For I've sworn by the burrs of my astro spurs

(Jib Janeen: Don't swear!)

To right the outlaw wrongs on Mars

(Chorus: Yes he rights the outlaw wrongs on Mars!)

And I'm from Earth!

(Jib Janeen: And I'm from Earth!  You are.  You.)




This episode was recorded at Largo on February 2, 2013 and released June 10, 2013.