The Skeleton Brief is an episode of Beyond Belief.
- Frank Doyle - Paul F. Tompkins
- Sadie Doyle - Paget Brewster
- Josie, a Frankenstein Girl - Annie Savage
- Peggy, a Frankenstein Girl - Autumn Reeser
The episode opens with Sadie asking Frank if there is anything he fears. Frank replies that he hasn’t been afraid of anything since he met her. There is a knock at the door and at first Sadie doesn’t want Frank to open to door - after all, it might be something fearsome. Frank reminds her that they’re expecting Ken. the liquor delivery boy. After checking their appearances (outstanding and splendid, respectively) they race to answer the door.
Unfortunately, it’s not Ken. It’s two “people” who insist they’re “neighbours”. Despite their insistence that they’re definitely people, the Doyles are unimpressed. The Doyles try to get them to leave, but the two visitors seem unaware of what the Doyles are trying to attempt.
The two visitor tell the Doyles that they will never be able to guess what they are or why they’re come - they look like two skeletons (with some fleshy parts), which they are, and they’ve come for the Doyles’ livers.
The Doyles, of course, are using their livers pretty much constantly, and are unwilling to give up their livers. The two skeletons want the Doyles livers for precisely that reason - they’re the strongest ones there are.
The two skeletons tell the Doyles that they need the livers to impress two Frankenstein girls that they’ve met. They’ve fallen in love with the Frankenstein girls, and have been trying to build up their skin and organs even since.
There’s another knock at the door. The skeleton men think it’s the Frankenstein girls, but it’s not. This time, it is Ken - he’s arrived with the Doyles delivery for the day. Ken sees the skeleton men, but interprets them as elaborate Halloween decorations. The Doyles give Ken a tip, and Ken thanks them for all their help. The Doyles bid him farewell (until tomorrow), but Ken tells them that this is to be his last shift. He’s gotten into Harvard (the college). The Doyles are very proud of him and wish him well as he leaves.
The two skeleton men leave after him and quickly return, with extra brains which they’ve taken from Ken. Ken arrives shortly after, now as a zombie (and no longer going to Harvard). Sadie demands that the skeletons give Ken back his brains.
There’s another knock at the door, and the two Frankenstein girls arrive. They’ve been told that this is where their secret admirers live, and they talk excitedly about the sorts of organs their secret admirers must have. The two skeleton men take the Doyles aside, asking the Doyles to let the skeletons have their livers before the Frankenstein girls notice they don’t have any.
Ken has an idea, and with the Doyles help he’s able to explain it.The Doyles will pretend that the skeletons have livers, thus impressing the Frankenstein girls, and in exchange the skeletons will give Ken back his brain. After conferring with each other briefly, the skeleton men agree and take Ken into the bathroom so that they can return his brain.
The Doyles talk up the two skeletons and their amazing livers to the Frankenstein girls, how are very excited to get to know these two liver-having gentlemen. However, when the skeletons and Ken emerge, Ken talks excitedly about his brain and how he will soon be going to Harvard (the college), which impresses the two Frankenstein girls even more. They ask him out on a date and he excitedly agrees, and the three of them leave.
The two skeletons are disappointed, but Frank tells them not to be upset - anyone they have to change themselves that much for isn’t really the one for them. The two skeletons say he’s right, and in celebration of this, they strip off their stolen skin and organs onto the Doyles’ clean floor and rush out for a celebratory drink.
Sadie wonders if they should stop the skeletons - after all, they did murder quite a lot of people - but Frank says that they should let the skeletons go, as they learnt an important lesson. The Doyles go over to the window to watch the two skeletons race across the road, where they’re hit by a bus.
- One of the skeleton men demonstrates his new-found knowledge by saying “the sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side”. This is how the Scarecrow demonstrates his knowledge at the end of ‘The Wizard of Oz’. It is also utilized by Homer Simpson in the episode entitled $pringfield, where someone corrects the misconception - the Pythagorean theorem refers to right-angled triangles, not isosceles.
- Clink count: 2
Frank: Most of our liquor delivery boys do not retire pre-mortem.
Frank: (to Sadie) Well, I knew fear before I knew you. And then I knew you.
- This is the 192nd episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour.
- The previous episode is Christmas on Jupiter, with the ad A Word From WorkJuice Coffee - "Bucatino Business #5" (TAH #191.1) in between.
- The next episode is Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars - Cosmic Sans.
- The previous episode in Beyond Belief canon is Scream a Little Scream (TAH #189).
- The next episode in Beyond Belief canon is Gory Gory Hallelujah (TAH #197), with the special crossover episode The Thrilling Adventure Hour and Wits Crossover Part 2 in between.
This episode was recorded at Largo on November 8, 2014 and released on January 5, 2015.