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The Colonel Tick Tock title banner as depicted in the Original Graphic Novel.

The fey Colonel Tick-Tock polices the fractured timeline for Her Majesty's Royal Chrono Patrol, interrupting not-always-terribly-well-researched historical moments and facing down chronological threats and the occasional villain, including the Greenwich Meanie, Aunty Meridian and the occasional dinosaur, from pre-history and all that. Pip Pip!  He is armed only with his wits, and his Trick Clock.

The Colonel has a wife, Constance, and, perhaps more importantly, a moustache. He works for Queen Victoria.  

Episode Guide

Other Appearances

Theme Song

The new Colonel Tick-Tock theme was written by Paul and Storm.

New Theme Song Lyrics

TIME upon a ONCE there was a
MAN who traveled FORTH and back through
TIME called Colonel Tick-Tock
(Tick-Tock: That’s me!)
SEARCHing every WHEN and where for
WHO knows WHAT he’ll FIND out with the
HELP of a clever Trick Clock
(Trick Clock: That’s me!)
Using EVery hole and portal
Colonel TICK-Tock will transport ‘til
He has BATTled every baddie that he
Needs to on the way
(Tick-Tock: I will!)
ONCE was MAN there
TIME a TRAVel-they HIM-called Colonel Tick-Tock Tick-Tock!
(Tick Tock: Ha-haaa!)
THIS for THAT-and-with
Clever his along Trick Clock
Fluxxing every alley
From the lowest chrono-valley To the upper-inner outer other ‘nother neverwhere
Tick, Tock, Colonel, a, round, traveled, time
Trick, Clock, him, stuff
helping, is, find
Tick, Stuff, Clock
Trick Clock, Time, stuff
Colonel Tick-Tock!

Original Theme Song Lyrics

Colonel Tick Tock's original theme, closing theme, and extended closing theme were written by Ben AckerBen Blacker, and Andy Paley. There are also Colonel Tick Tock Additional Theme Song Lyrics.

Sit back, don't touch that radio dial
Bags packed, and take along a big smile
Bring snacks, we may be gone for a while
It's Colonel Tick-Tock time
Get set, to travel through yesterday
You bet, adventure's right round the way
Forget, your cares 'cause fun's here to stay
It's Colonel TickTock time
Take a mind-bending trip to anywhen
With the royal chrono-patrol
Up is down, squares are round, and now is then
When you travel via time hole
Marco Polo’s on a cell phone
Tutankahmun rides the Cyclone
And Al Capone guns down his clone for copping his calzone!
You'll see, that you can meet anyone
Take tea, with Atilla the Hun
Feel free, to set your watches for fun!
It's Colonel TickTock time.

Closing Theme Song Lyrics

So cheers, it’s been a marvelous trip
Seems years since I’ve had such a pip
My dears, I trust your lids did a flip
It’s Colonel TickTock time.
A decade, a year might well disappear
A fantastical magical trick
What’s a month here or there, I’ve got oodles to spare!
That’s what make Colonel TickTock tick
Hooray! For the Man of the Hour
Parades, and garlands of flowers
Make way, for chronological power!
It’s Colonel TickTock
With my trick clock!
Colonel TickTock time!
It's Colonel TickTock time!