That's No Honeymoon is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.
- Sparks Nevada - Marc Evan Jackson
- Croach the Tracker - Mark Gagliardi
- The Red Plains Rider - Busy Philipps
- Ginny West - Janet Varney
- Felton - Craig Cackowski
- Barkeep - Joshua Malina
- Ronk - Hal Lublin
- Folksy Hal (Narrator) (End Narration only) - Hal Lublin
Sparks Nevada and Ginny West-Nevada arrive on the Honey Moon, formerly Fumfum-6 of the SK System. QQQQ, an Empathy Being, tells them to enjoy themselves as he shows them their room, and leaves.
Ginny soon asks Sparks why he's been more taciturn and grumbly since the wedding. Before he can answer, Ronk and QQQQ enter to ask them if they can help ease the tension in the room, then leave. Sparks points out that Ginny called Sparks his buddy, and then asks Ginny if she is a Jupiter Spy. Ginny, offended, storms off into the bathroom and attempts, unsuccessfully, to slam the door. Sparks says he'll apologize only after she confirms she's not a Jupiter Spy.
Croach enters, and informs Sparks he thinks Ginny may be a Jupiter Spy, despite Sparks' insistence he already knows. As Sparks attempts to tell Croach to butt out, Felton enters and informs Sparks he thinks Ginny might be Jupiter Spy. Croach and Felton wonder if the Ginny Sparks married is the real Virginia West, or if she's a spy who replaced a human Ginny at some point.
QQQQ, Ronk, and Xance enter, insisting that Sparks and Ginny find the love between them and bask in it, or else. Croach points out that the Empathy Beings are metamorphosing on a cellular level to much more dangerous beings. Sparks tells Felton he must calm down, as he doesn't want the Empathy Beings to take on Felton's emotions. Sparks and Ginny continue to bicker over whether or not she's a spy, and why Sparks brought his guns on their honeymoon.
Barkeep then enters, saying that he and Harriet are on the planet for one of their many second honeymoons. Barkeep doesn't remember Jib Janeen or the Jupiter spies. He only stopped by to see trouble play out in someone else's place. Felton says now he's both scared, and jealous of Harriet and Mordecai's marriage.
Sparks begins to lose his patience at Ginny and insists she tell him if she's a spy. All four Empathy Beings enter, all very angry, and explain that their emotions are causing danger to everyone in the resort, as they could fly into a murderous rage at any moment. Sparks attempts to calm down, and tells Ginny he now wants to learn about her and who she is. He then realizes he does love Ginny, no matter who she really is.
The Empathy Beings also calm down, and Ginny emerges from the bathroom. Croach confirms everyone is now calm, when The Red Plains Rider arrives. Red tells everyone to shut up, and that Sparks has enough sense to figure out his own stuff on his own time. She is there to shoo Croach away, not that she's angry. The Empathy Beings confirm she only has her low-level omnipresent anger. She and Croach decide to get a room at the resort. Felton decides to go back home, as he's alone.
Sparks apologizes, saying he should have talked to Ginny instead of simmering in his anger. He tells her he loves her, then Ginny confesses that she is a Jupiter Spy, although she has a secret to tell him. The episode then ends before Ginny tells her secret.
- This episode confirms for the first time in canon that Sparks' middle name is "Hansel".
- Fumfum-6 has been mentioned before, in Companeros, Sparks and Mercury defeated Cring the Cruel, an Overlord from FumFum-6. Then, in Cosmic Sans, Barkeep mentions how he turned the BattleLords form Fumfum-6 into dancers, instead of fighters. It's unknown if the Empathy Beings have always been such, or if they were also changed by Barkeep or someone else using The Force Galactic.
- Barkeep doesn't remember Jib Janeen as he's only encountered Janeen once, in Something Wicked This Way Is. Janeen successfully masqueraded as Sparks Nevada the entire episode and did not reveal his true self.
- Felton previously was thought to be in a relationship with The Widow Johnson, but here he is once again wondering if he will ever find love. The status of their relationship is unknown.
- This is the final appearance of Ginny West.
- This is the 228th episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour.
- The previous episode is WorkJuice Presents: The Worst Scripted Event of All Time.
- The next episode is The Cross-Time Adventures of Colonel Tick-Tock - Refurbished.
- The previous episode in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars canon is Marshal on Mars (TAH #220).
- The next episode in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars canon is Order in the Courtship (TAH #231).
This episode was recorded at SF Sketchfest on January 9, 2016 and released on April 11, 2016.