Secret Disservice

Secret Disservice is an episode of The Adventures of Captain Laserbeam.

Audio

Patreon exclusive.

Cast

WorkJuice Players

• Captain Laserbeam - John DiMaggio
• The Beaknapper - Annie Savage
• Steve Steve - Mark Gagliardi
• Adventurekateer Lynn - Autumn Reeser
• Heroic Hal (Narrator) - Hal Lublin

Guest Stars

• Little Jackie - Danica McKellar
• FLOTUS - Wendy Malick
• Professor President - Dan Lauria
• Adventurekateer Omar - Kumail Nanjiani
• Mr. Blum, the Hysterosaur - Jim Beaver

Plot

The story begins with Captain Laserbeam helping 3/4 of The First Family--FLOTUS, Little Jackie, and Steve-Steve--take down the Beaknapper while patriarch Professor President is off campaigning. Once the noise-hating menace is nabbed, Little Jackie starts bickering with her mother and little brother Steve-Steve. Captain Laserbeam offers to take Jackie to the Adventurekateer Clubhouse to meet some kids her own age, and FLOTUS agrees.

Captain Laserbeam and Little Jackie show up just as board-game wiz Omar is about to beat Lynn in the pleventh level of the Captain Laserbeam board and card game. Introductions are made, and Lynn immediately clashes with Jackie, perceiving her political status and superpowers to be unfair to the proletariat, or something. She cites the source of her strong liberal views as her history teacher, Mr. Blum. Omar mentions casually that Mr. Blum had been involved in an industrial accident at the Fossil Fuel Processing Plant, and is presumed dead--though a blurry photograph of a mutant monstrosity was taken moments later. Little Jackie's atomic sense of worry jangles at that news, and she and Captain Laserbeam intuit that a mutated Mr. Blum probably would have kidnapped Professor President. Omar and Lynn confirm that that would be entirely in character. Jackie and Laserbeam jet off.

Meanwhile, Professor President is indeed held hostage by Mr. Blum , now half dinosaur, in a classroom at Eli Whitney Middle School. The two argue politics for a few minutes until Captain Laserbeam and Little Jackie burst upon the scene. Laserbeam dubs Blum with a nom-de-villany, the Hysterosaur, as Little Jackie atomizes her father's binding. Professor President reveals that he could have escaped at any time, but thought that rational discussion with Blum was the best course of action. He offers the help of his super-scientist son to attempt to return mutated teacher normal again, and Blum agrees.

FLOTUS and Steve-Steve show up to rescue Professor President even more, but upon their arrival, FLOTUS's electrical field mutates Blum further. In the throes of transformation, he warns them off. Jackie wishes to atomize him to neutralize the threat, but Captain Laserbeam thinks fast and freeze-lasers the reptile man, putting him to sleep. Professor President declares his intention to bring Blum back to Steve-Steve's lab and promises Captain Laserbeam a medal for his efforts.

Character Mentions

Villains Mentioned

• Headmasterer
• Mouthiverse the World Eater
• Loophole
• Incan Painter
• Bypass Surgeon
• The Bad Guys (The Opposite Zone version of The Good Guys)

Heroes Mentioned

• The Good Guys

Adventurekateers Mentioned

• Arturo (the blind Adventurekateer - RIP)

Continuity

This is the 123rd episode of the Thrilling Adventure Hour. The prior episode is Beyond Belief - Cursed at First Bite and the next episode is Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars - Father Reaches of Space. The prior episode in Captain Laserbeam canon is #110, Circle Gets the Square, and the next is #130, Paperback Fighter!.

Production

This episode was recorded at Largo on April 6, 2013 and released on June 24, 2013.

• Writers: Ben Acker and Ben Blacker
• Director: Aaron Ginsburg
• Music: Andy Paley and the Andy Paley Orchestra