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Red Alert is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.


Patreon exclusive.


WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars

Detailed Summary

Sparks, Mercy, and Croach have been hunting bounties for a month now, and have collected 99 bounties.  Bounty hunting has been made easier by Croach doing most of the work tracking the outlaws.  Sparks and Mercy's relationship is going well.  Sparks teases Croach and takes credit for his work.

They get the notice for their 100th bounty, and Sparks and Croach are dismayed to learn that it's The Red Plains Rider.  Mercy warns Sparks not to let the line between bounty and hunter to get blurred, and Sparks insists that they bring Red in alive.

Croach tracks Red to a desolate location on top of a plateau, and Sparks suggests that Croach's tracking has gone bad because he's been drinking so heavily lately.  Croach agrees that maybe he's becoming "unbuckled."

They walk forward, and ahead of them is the hidden, golden Martian city, the Secreted City of Rococoo.  Dale Treamain, the second Marshal of Mars, finds them.  He is now the sovereign of Rococoo, and tells Sparks, Croach, and Mercy that it's up to him whether they live or die.  Croach announces that they're surrounded by gray-skinned martians.  Dale also confuses Croach with cool metaphors as threats.

Dale decides to kill them, but they are saved by Red appearing and telling Dale to stop the martians.  Red explains that she stumbled onto the city as a teenager when Rococoo was being attacked by giant macrobes after an air whale died above it and decomposed, the macrobes descended as a plague on the city.  Dale helped Red discover she had a tendency for doing good, and Red stayed at Rococoo for awhile.

Mercy decides she's still bringing Red in for the bounty and reaches for her guns.  Mercy warns Dale not to interfere as he'll have the bounty hunters guild come down on him.  Dale says the invisible city will protect him.  Red and Mercy trade words, until Sparks attempts to diffuse the situation, which angers Red and Mercy threatens her, which causes Dale to threaten her in return.  Sparks continues to try to talk Mercy down, but Mercy accuses Sparks of regressing over Red due to his feelings for her.

Red tells Sparks to turn the tables, and suddenly Sparks and Mercy are showing down.  Mercy accuses Sparks of still loving Red, and Sparks denies it. They tell each other to stand down, but neither does.  Sparks says this isn't how their relationship is supposed to go, and Mercy says "Then I guess this is it."  Sparks believes Mercy is about to fire on him, so he shoots.

Croach, who is still under onus to Mercy, throws himself in front of the bullets.  He falls to the ground, moaning in pain.

Mercy explains that she was just breaking up with Sparks, not that that she was going to draw.  He tries to smooth things over, but it doesn't go well.  Croach mentions that he was hurt, but Sparks dismisses him, as Croach's nanotech (Nah Nohtek) should heal him.  Croach is pleased, however, because although this is the fourth worst pain he's ever experienced, his onus to Mercy is complete.

Mercy transports away with her horse, despite Dale attempting to stop her.  He is annoyed that they're going to have to move the location of the city.

Croach declares that he feels "worst ever", and Sparks realizes Croach isn't healing.  Instead, Croach's condition worsens.

Dale asks if Croach has been drinking, because alcohol bonds with martian nanotech and will stay in their system until they die.  Alcohol renders nanotech inert and useless. When Sparks says that Croach has been drinking, Dale tells Sparks the only thing they can do for Croach is to start digging his grave.

Croach tells Sparks that it has been an onus to ride by his side, and tells Red he still harbors a secret emotion for her.  

Croach says he is unbuckled, and then dies, gasping for Sparks with his last breath.


  • Sparks uses Croach's exclamation "Bagropa!" in this episode.
  • This episode should be listened to after Cactoid Jim, King of the Martian Frontier - MurderMen for continuity.
  • Due to the normal Largo sound engineer being absent, the audio in this episode sounds distant.  Listening with headphones is highly recommended.
  • Dale Treamain was mentioned previously in "A Comet's Tale", the third podcasted episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.



This episode was recorded at Largo on June 9, 2012 and released on November 5th, 2012.