Long Island of Lost Souls

Long Island of Lost Souls is an episode of Beyond Belief.

Audio[]

Cast[]

WorkJuice Players[]

Guest Stars[]

Joel Spence - A Bagel Man

Plot[]

The episode opens on Jerry Frankenstein, who remarks that this is his favourite time of night, when the smell of his baker at work wafts up from the basement bakery below. A customer enters, drawn in by the scent of baking bread. Frankenstein insists that the customer leave as they are closed, and implying that it is dangerous for him to stay.

The customer insists on staying to purchase bread, and Frankenstein bemoans that it is “too late” for him. The customer is startled by this, and is later heard begging for his life.

Meanwhile, Frank and Sadie travel through Long Island via taxi cab. Frank and Sadie bemoan having to travel through the “wilderness” of Long Island, and discuss why they are there - they are in search of a bakery, although they do not have directions to it. Since they can’t find it and have no way of doing so, they direct their driver to take them back home.

Frank spots a sign that reads ‘fresh muffins’ and Sadie says that she believes that this is the very bakery they have been in search of - the Frankenstein’s bakery. Frank says he’s not familiar with them, and Sadie jogs his memory as they head into the shop.

There’s no one in the shop and Sadie calls out to them, wondering if the owner themselves haven’t fallen victim to “the rash of mysterious murders that have been plaguing this area”. Jerry appears, and tells the Doyles that the shop is closed. Frank says they want muffins, and Jerry tells him again that the shop is closed.

The Doyles smell peppermint and are then knocked unconscious by an unseen figure.

When they Doyles wakes, they find that they are tied to an operating table in a basement laboratory. After making sure that each other is relatively alright, the Doyle reminisce about other places they have been tied up (including another, much nicer, operating table in Venice).

Jerry reappears, the Doyles chide him for their current predicament. Sadie tells Jerry that since they are practically family (since her sister Lucy is engaged to Jerry’s cousin Greg) that he should let them go. Jerry says that he can’t, since he’s not the one that has ties them up - it was Donald, his baker.

Donald appears. Jerry makes the case for letting the Doyles go, but Donald says they can’t because it would disappoint “him”. Jerry says that they could let the Doyles go before “he” even knows, but unfortunately, “he” is already down in the basement with them.

“He” turns out to be a large gingerbread man, which Donald calls his “greatest creation”.

Sadie is delighted by his appearance, while Frank is a little more wary, asking if the gingerbread man was the one that knocked them out. After confirming this, Frank promises Sadie that she will be able to eat the gingerbread man “before the night is through”. The gingerbread man insists that she will not and that they will both be destroyed and be reborn to “join his family”.

The Doyles ask Donald why he made such a cookie and he reveals that he is from the Moreau family, and as such is draw to such scientific experimentation. Sadie asks why he isn’t on an island like his relative, and he replies that he is on an island - Long Island.

Donald tells the Doyles that he has created an army of baked good people to do his bidding: franchising. With the current bakery such a success, Donald wanted to branch out, and found this as his solution to staffing. Franks says his plan only partially makes sense, and Donald reveals that Jerry has been using his own “family secrets” to bring their pastry creations to life.

Sadie insists again that they be let go on the basis of almost being family, and while Jerry agrees, Donald says that they know too much. Jerry says that he is the boss and Donald attempts to command the gingerbread man to destroy him.

Jerry opens the sub-basement, revealing a bagel-human hybrid that he had created. The two creatures fight and Frank, who has slipped out of his bonds, drags the gingerbread man to Sadie for her to eat.

Frank and Sadie place their order for muffins and martinis, hold the muffins.

Ads[]

Quotes[]

Sadie: Forgive his hysterics. It's not often Frank finds himself tied down without a safeword.

Frank: POTATOES! POTATOES!

----

Donald: I find Long Island so much more livable.

Frank: Someone's been in the kitchen for too long.

Notes[]

An alternate version of Forged in Flame (TAH #101).
Clink Count: 0

Continuity[]

This is the 5th Thrilling Adventure Hour Treasury episode released From The Vault.
The previous episode is Say Goodbye to Yourself (TC #4).
The previous episode of Beyond Belief is If These Walls Could Talk (TC #3).
The next episode is This Cockamamie Future (TC #5).

Production[]

This episode was recorded at M Bar on March 3, 2007 and released on March 25, 2017.

Writers: Ben Acker and Ben Blacker
Music: The Andy Paley Orchestra