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La Venganza de Los Bandititos is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.


Patreon exclusive.


WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars

Musical Guests


While the narrator is still speaking, Red gives her answer to the question asked at the end of Moonfaker, Red turns down the official deputy position again.

While Red is sitting behind Sparks' desk in The Marshal Station, Croach asks if sitting behind the desk makes her the Marshal, and Sparks says no. Red says she just needs a desk and chair for a spell, and asks Sparks if she can use it. When he agrees, she places herself under onus to him. Sparks asks if they're still even doing onuses, and Croach explains that when Sparks lead the plan in saving all of G'loot Praktaw from Chicky Sullivan and the Earth's Moon, Croach undertook the onus of the entire planet.  He's never been under greater onus to Sparks Nevada.

Red explains that she's "studying up" on the Collected Scrolls of G'loot Praktaw, the martian laws. She wasn't able to fully understand them when she read them as a youngling due to being a human. Croach is alarmed she hadn't comprehended them and therefore didn't pass the trials of her B’at-mit zvah when she was still with his tribe. Red said she didn't do them, and understanding the Martian lore and undergoing the trials might be what's "missing from her saddlebag." She asks Sparks and Croach for some peace and quiet so she can study, and after arguing for a spell about who's quieter, Red finally gets her peace.

Seconds later, The Marshal Station Doors announces that the doors have been opened violently. Los Ninos de Los Banditos Mutantes enter, saying that they intend violence towards Sparks Nevada. They mistake Red for Sparks, as Red is sitting behind Sparks' desk, which has his name on it.  Los Ninos are upset for Sparks not only killing their fathers in The Piano has Been Thinkingbut, according to Rebecca Rose Rushmore's book, Sparks humiliated their fathers by making them sing before they died.  Red is shocked to learn that everyone was singing that day, not just herself and Cactoid Jim.

Los Ninos want to showdown with Sparks, who offers to arrest them instead so they don't all die, due to how dying during showing down is tradition in Los Banditos.  Sparks explains how showdowns "traditionally" work, but Croach points out that Sparks is making up tradition.  Sparks attempts to place Croach under onus to him for pointing that out, but Croach explains that the onus-holder cannot place the onus-under person under more onus, while the onus-under person can place the onus-holder under onus. 

Trace wishes everyone would stop invoking tradition, while Addison and Darby explain that vengeance is their cultural heritage -- it's an important tradition, and violence is the cultural means of their expression.  Trace doesn't seem so sure, he wants to be an artisanal programmer, which causes Addison to admit she wants to market artisanal programming and Darby wants to oversee artisanal programming, but their legacies dictate they become Banditos Mutantes.  Sparks attempts to convince them that they won't have a future if they don't give up being Banditos Mutantes, but Red and Croach bring up the point that the past does deserve some respect.  

They point out how Sparks is constantly reminding people that he's from Earth even though he's lived on Mars for years.  Red tells Sparks not to lie to Los Ninos and say that tradition isn't important.  She explains that she's reading the Collected Scrolls of G'loot Praktaw to find some kind of meaning in the last several years.  She's still torn up about the loss of her marriage to Cactoid Jim, the loss of the Jupiterian baby, and the time she spent with the gray Martians and Dale Treamain.

Trace is now convinced because of tradition, they should draw, but after drawing, the other Mutantes aren't sure.  Addison calls a timeout.  Darby says they were wrong to come after Sparks after all.  He points out how a martian, a lady who knows a lot about martians and a guy from Earth would, in the time of their grandparents, be fighting and killing each other, but now they're like a family, living in the way of the future.  Darby says they should just keep the traditions they like, and make new ones to replace the traditions they don't.

Los Ninos put away their guns, and Red convinces Sparks not to arrest them so they can go be artisanal programmers.  Red then tells Sparks she needs his help enacting a rite in the most dangerous patch of Mars as the episode ends.


  • The podcast includes two performances of the theme song, the "canned" version and a performance by Sean Watkins and Sara Watkins.



This episode was recorded at Largo on February 1, 2014 and released on March 17, 2014.