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Just Desserts is an episode of Down in Moonshine Holler.


Just Desserts audio at Nerdist


WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars


Banjo and Gummy arrive via boxcar to a place called Chocolate Holler, and are met by a very tall trainyard policeman. Gummy distracts the policeman by mentioning a cloud that looks like it's in the shape of his wife, but the policeman espouses at length that the cloud looks like his identical twin brother's wife while Banjo and Gummy sneak away.

After successfully fleeing, Banjo and Gummy come across a crying woman, who introduces herself as Hazel Boggs, and says that the nearby factory that has Boggs plastered on it no longer belongs to her family, as it used to be a whiskey distillery for several generations past, but it's been overtaken by the local law since the Volstead Act, and the new owners have turned it to a custard factory. Gummy excuses himself to go find some custard cooling on a windowsill, and returns shortly saying the custard is delicious. Hazel says that the custard factory is polluting the town, giving the people Custard Lung, and is making everything sticky.

Hazel says that the new owners of the factory are hobos, to which Banjo and Gummy object. The new owners soon arrive, and introduce themselves as hobos Pester Fitzamble and his hobo docent, Cholly. Pester speaks with a high accent like Banjo, while Cholly wonders if Gummy is related to some other hobos with the surname Gummy, and Gummy denies being relation. Cholly says he thinks he and Gummy will be best friends, but Gummy replies he already has a best friend, his name is Shifty and Gummy trusts him with his life.

Pester then attempts to get down to the origins of Banjo's name, as Banjo doesn't have a Banjo on his person. After several guesses, Banjo says that his Hobo Father, Gummy, looked him up and down one morning and said that he looks like a Banjo. Gummy says to not be so suspicious, as these are hobos -- just as they are. Banjo and Pester then eye each other suspiciously, Hazel mentions they look like gunfighters showing down. Banjo says yes, like gunfighters, and not like a hobo that used to be a millionaire who wrote a goodbye letter to his jealous feckless cousin about his quest, and the cousin who decided to make an attempt at a similar quest. Pester agrees, they are not at all like that hobo and the former feckless soul to find his hero cousin who he admired but instead found himself and the feck he for so long lacked.

Pester explains that as he and Cholly are hobos that have recently come into a windfall of the factory. They were going to offer Banjo and Gummy jobs, as they've found that some as some hobos get older and want to settle down, they need a place for security, and have been making their factory a place for hobos to gather. Banjo says that despite their noble intentions, the custard factory is laying ruin to the town.

Hazel begs Banjo to do something before Custard Lung ruins the town. Banjo waxes that he does indeed know Pester, that he is Preston Mannerlodge, his cousin. He wonders how to reveal Preston's origins and plans without revealing himself. Gummy leans on Banjo and in slurred speech tells Banjo to do it the Hobo Way.Banjo, realizing Gummy is drunk, wonders where the alcohol came from.

Banjo says that when Cholly spoke of the stationary life, he spoke too keenly, and sees that he truly does want to stay. Banjo believes that Pester and Cholly came here to save the town, but now that the factory is doing so well, Cholly wishes to stay. Pester says that it's true, the wandering life has said farewell to Cholly, and now Cholly wishes to provide a good life for retired hobos and the townsfolk. Banjo also says that his Pester does have feck now.

The very drunk Gummy asks how Banjo figured it out. Banjo says that he realized that Pester would do everything for his mentor, just like he would for Gummy.

Just then, the officer arrives. Banjo asks him to hear his conclusions, and explains that Pester would never put Cholly in danger of being accused of bootlegging, though bootlegging is occurring within the factory. Hazel acts aghast, then Banjo points out that Hazel's shoes have tread on them like those of bootleggers clinging to running boards on automobiles. Custard Lung, Banjo says, is not a thing, which first made him suspicious. The proof of the bootlegging, he says, is in the pudding. The officer tastes the pudding, and agrees that it tastes of the Boggs family whiskey.

Hazel says that the policeman is on the Boggs payroll, so he should arrest all the hobos for vagrancy. The officer says Hazel must have him confused for his twin brother, who he just now found out is corrupt. He arrests Hazel, instead, and lets the men go, as his father was a hobo before he retired.

Banjo thanks Cholly and Pester for their work. Cholly says that Pester must continue wandering without him, as it's not Pester's time to retire. Perhaps he'll find someone to mentor out there, and offers Banjo and Gummy a place in Chocolate Holler should they ever need it. Banjo offers to have Pester come with them, but he declines, as he just got out of Banjo's shadow and doesn't wish to get back in it, but will tell The Hobo Princess Banjo is coming for her, if he finds her.

As Banjo and Gummy leave, Gummy points out a cloud in the shape of The Hobo Princess, and the train whistle is her siren's call.


  • Mark Gagliardi was not mentioned in the credits of this episode, but did play the police officer.
  • The episode is somewhat derailed by the two pairs of Hobos and the Policeman making variant jokes on the pun "Just Desserts" and reacting to them (apparent ad-libs on the part of the cast). Eventually Paul F Tompkins (as Cholly) ropes them back in with "Anyway - bottom of 50", obviously referring to the script page number, only to be challenged by Banjo as to what that means.



This episode was recorded at The Bell House on October 11th, 2014 and released on January 26th, 2014.