Thrilling Adventure Hour Wiki

John Steelhands is a character in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars. He is performed by Brendon Small.


John Steelhands is a robot outlaw on Mars, he refers to himself as The Gentleman Thief. He melted the polar ice caps, which were being used as a prison for other robot outlaws. When the ice caps were melted, the resulting flood threatened both a human settlement and a tribe of Martians, who were enjoying a feast in honor of their younglings who had survived the trials of B’ar-mit zvah.

Sparks Nevada, along with his horse Mercury, rode alongside the flood. Sparks attached a wormhole generator to his lasso, and sucked the entire flood into the wormhole. Presumably, Sparks Nevada captured or killed Steelhands, but this is not outright stated in the podcast.

To repay the onus incurred by the tribe for being saved by Sparks, Barlok the Wise assigned Croach the Tracker to help track Sparks Nevada's "metal enemies" (robots).

In Icebreak, it's mentioned that his offenses included devious up-to-something-type scheming, devious masterminding, hypercattle hyperrustling, bank robbing (sneaky), and bank robbing (direct).