John Steelhands is a character in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars. He is performed by Brendon Small.
John Steelhands is a robot outlaw on Mars, he refers to himself as The Gentleman Thief. He melted the polar ice caps, which were being used as a prison for other robot outlaws. When the ice caps were melted, the resulting flood threatened both a human settlement and a tribe of Martians, who were enjoying a feast in honor of their younglings who had survived the trials of B’ar-mit zvah.
Sparks Nevada, along with his horse Mercury, rode alongside the flood. Sparks attached a wormhole generator to his lasso, and sucked the entire flood into the wormhole. Presumably, Sparks Nevada captured or killed Steelhands, but this is not outright stated in the podcast.
In Icebreak, it's mentioned that his offenses included devious up-to-something-type scheming, devious masterminding, hypercattle hyperrustling, bank robbing (sneaky), and bank robbing (direct).
- Icebreak (TC #6)
- John Steelhands does not appear in the main broadcast run of the podcast. He is, however, mentioned by name in This American Wife. (TAH 38.1)
- Prior to podcast canon, John Steelhands was played at least once by Paul F. Tompkins (Fan Questions Answered).
- Mentioned in the Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars segment of the Original Graphic Novel