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Horse Play is an episode of The Cross-Time Adventures of Colonel Tick-Tock.

Podcast Episode


"Horse Play" on Art19


WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars

Musical Guests


And now, Patriot Brand Cigarettes begrudgingly presents that least American of entertainments, The Cross-Time Adventures of Colonel Tick-Tock.

Colonel Tick-Tock visits Casanova in 18th Century Venice. Tick-Tock tells Casanova that he tasks himself to learning skills throughout history from their masters, and thus asks Casanova to teach him in the art of a great lover. Casanova is confused about the request, if Tick-Tock is asking how to make a romance with a woman. Tick-Tock responds "Or whatever..." and says it might take awhile, as he can be a poor student when he puts his mind to it.

Trick Clock interrupts with a transmission from Queen Victoria, who sends Tick-Tock to the Bronze Age, ancient Greece, where a common soldier has contracted a precognitive influenza, the Deja Flu. Tick-Tock is not pleased to leave Casanova.

In Ancient Troy, a Greek is delivering a giant horse to the Trojans. The Trojan accepting the horse is able to tell the future a little bit, and not feeling well. He is very suspicious of the Greek, and decides not to accept the horse based on his premonitions. Colonel Tick-Tock arrives, and the Trojan recognizes him from the future. Trick Clock is unable to cure the Trojan, and explains that by two days ago and two days from now, most of the population will have the Deja Flu.  

As there's no time to fix things, Colonel Tick-Tock says he must reach into the very heart of time herself. Trick Clock activates the timeulum engine and extracts energy of the Heart of Time, which engages the defenses. Tick-Tock has Trick Clock bring him the Sword of Wednesday, which was hidden in a Thursday. Captain Hourglass, a time pirate, is the defense of the Heart of Time. Tick-Tock and Captain Hourglass have a swordfight, in which they are evenly matched. While Tick-Tock keeps Hourglass engaged, Trick Clock absorbs the time energy he needed, thus Hourglass is bested by wits and concedes the fight to compose shanties about Tick-Tock's exploits.

The Trojan is quickly dying, and asks Tick-Tock to tells his wife something wry, but Trick Clock is able to save the Trojan of the Deja Flu using the time energy. Trick Clock rewinds time enough so he and Tick-Tock can watch the exchange between the Trojan and the Greek as intended. The Trojan accepts the Trojan Horse and is soon killed by the flood of Greeks pouring from the horse.

Trick Clock and Tick Tock leave the area, despite Tick-Tock's objections, and head back to see Casanova.


  • Paul F. Tompkins sneezed on stage, causing an interruption with Queen Victoria.
  • Sean Watkins and Sara Watkins perform the theme song in this episode.



This episode was recorded at Largo on January 10, 2014 and released on February 24, 2014.

TAH Live Episode


The video of TAH Live #5 may be purchased on Vimeo. Proceeds from the live stream and from sales of this recording benefit the NAACP LDF and Color of Change.


WorkJuice Players

Storm DiCostanzo, Paul Sabourin, Hal Lublin, Annie Savage, Parvesh Cheena, Craig Cackowski, Joshua Malina, Janet Varney, Paul F. Tompkins & Autumn Reeser perform Horse Play for TAH Live #5.

Guest Stars

  • Narrators - Paul Sabourin and Storm DiCostanzo
  • Casanova - Parvesh Cheena

Plot Changes

  • There was no Patriot announcer in this iteration of the episode.
  • A pre-recorded video version of the new Colonel Tick-Tock theme was performed by Paul and Storm, with Hal and Craig appearing as Tick-Tock and Trick Clock.
  • The conversation with Queen Victoria and Casanova was punched up, with the mention of the Forever Mumps, a previous chronological ailment. Trick Clock warns that if the Deja Flu isn't contained, it could spread throughout the sands of time, and become a spamdemic. The on-stage improvs around Paul F. Tompkins' sneeze and Queen Victoria not liking being called "Your Maj" were not included.
  • The Greek and Trojan characters were given names seen on-screen. It's possible those names already existed in the original script, but they were never said and so were not part of the previous canon.
  • While Tick-Tock and Captain Hourglass battled, Hal Lublin provided foley swordfight sounds via knocking a knife and spoon together.
  • The Greek in the Horse had a few extra lines added near the end, with Paul F. Tompkins making a brief appearance.
  • There were several other minor dialog changes not mentioned here.


This episode was performed on June 27, 2020.