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Crisis on Infinite Marses part 2 is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.


Patreon exclusive.


WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars


Picking up at the end of Cosmic Sans, Croach, Sparks, and Ginny arrive at a desolate spot on the Earth's Moon to look for Pemily Stallwark, Dolores County, and The Red Plains Rider. Croach says that he's lost his bearings, and takes a moment to find them. During the respite, Ginny mentions that her trial period being stationed on Mars is over, and she wishes to move out of The Widow Johnson's boarding house and find a more permanent place to live. Sparks quickly says "Let's do it" before Ginny elaborates on her meaning, but their stuttering attempt to continue the conversation is interrupted by Dolores County falling out of the sky.

Dolores explains that she, Red and Pemily were chasing down Chesh Glutterfane when the impossible happened. Before she can explain what that means, The Space Saloon arrives, introduces herself as La Diabla, and says she is still a bounty hunter. Sparks and Ginny are baffled, as they were just inside The Saloon back on Mars and she was fine. La Diabla says that nobody has been inside her since The Piano died. She says she was on Mars chasing Piston Pete moments ago, but suddenly appeared there and is confused as to why.

When La Diabla says hello to Croach, he says everything is strange in his head, and The Red Plains Rider has disappeared, he can no longer track her. Dolores says that when she, Red and Pemily caught up to Chesh, the outlaw just waved his hand and they disappeared, then he backhanded Dolores back to the Moon. Croach says he's feeling something familiar, and calls Sparks a Butt-Milk. Croach is once again drunk, though he has not imbibed any alcoholic beverages since his resurrection. Sparks explains to Ginny that Croach can't drink, as it messes with his Nah Nohtek, and Croach could possibly die again. Croach says that he only has the effects of drinking.

Ginny wonders why everyone seems to be glitching -- Croach's Nah Nohtek, La Diabla, and possibly Dolores' tech, as she is a cyborg and may have been programmed to remember what Chesh did to herself, Red and Pemily. Ginny then suddenly realizes that Sparks was offering to have her move in with him, and accepts at the same time Sparks rescinds the offer.

Before the discussion can continue, Dolores transports Sparks, Ginny, and Croach back to The Marshal Station, as they have the tech there to track Red and Pemily. She says she and La Diabla will keep looking for clues there and will stay in comms contact.

Back at the station, another version of Sparks Nevada enters, saying that this is her marshal station. Croach confirms that they have similar energy signatures, so they are the same person. The female version of Sparks notes that Croach is drunk, to which Croach says he has no friends nor drinks, but asks Sparks for a drink and confirms that they're friends. Sparks refuses to give Croach a drink.

Another Croach enters, to everyone's confusion. Sparks realizes that this is the version of Croach that he dreamed about while Croach was dead, who makes breakfast out of his own eggs and likes to eat human organs. Croach confirms that this new Croach is identical to him. Sparks also realizes that the female version of him is one similar to the story about him Croach once told, and La Diabla is an alternate version where she was never rebooted, as well.

A man arrives, and at first Sparks thinks it's another version of him, as the man is very cool. He introduces himself as The Red Plains Rider. He explains how he is the one survivor of a slaughter long ago. His family came to Mars as missionaries to civilize the martians, but were killed by robot outlaws, who killed the martians, as well as the human settlers, and took over the planet. Now he rides the plains of Mars, seeking vengeance. The law on Mars was killed in the Earth's Moon war. He's upset that Sparks won't answer his questions, and wishes to showdown with Sparks.

Before a showdown can start, another version of Sparks appears, calmer and happier than regular Sparks. This Sparks says he's centered and happy because he has his life in order. He traded in his Marshal job and now owns a hardware store, but hasn't given up everything he loves. He's in a relationship with Virgil West, a male version of Ginny, who enters and introduces himself. Regular Sparks and Ginny think their alternate versions are great.

Centered Sparks offers to tell regular Sparks why he's so happy, but before he can, Chesh Glutterfane appears. He says he's taken his revenge on The Red Plains Rider for capturing him, though he can't find Cactoid Jim to extract revenge on, thus he's taking his anger out on Jim's friends. The Red Plains Rider who is present attempts to shoot Chesh, and fails to hurt him.

Chesh explains that he's in control of all of time and space and entered via an inter-dimensional portal. As he was fleeing this universe's Red and Pemily, he came across Harold of the Galaxium, who was carrying a briefcase. Chesh shot and killed Harold, then took the briefcase, which contained the two parts of Force Galactics which both the Barkeep and Keith Gonzalez used to wield. He sent Red and Pemily to another dimension, read some timelines and brought all the alternate characters to this reality (though perhaps subconsciously), as well as made Croach drunk for fun.

Another version of Chesh arrives, a better, nicer, kinder version. He tells Sparks and Virgil they're a lovely couple, as are Sparks and Ginny. Regular Sparks and Ginny mention they're thinking of moving in together, and his alternate and Virgil say they did try moving in together, but drove each other nuts, so now Virgil lives next door and they're happy. Young Sparks says she lived with her Ginny for years, and loved it. Kind Chesh advises Sparks and Ginny to do what's right when it's the right time for both of them.

Regular Chesh says now isn't the time to figure out the future, but his counterpart has no future, and explodes his guts. As he's dying, other Chesh says he's not from the future, but he's the Chesh that Chesh wants to be. As his alternate dies, Chesh gains perspective on who and how he was. The alternate asks Chesh to redeem himself in both their names, but Chesh refuses and finishes killing his alternate. Chesh is about to kill someone else when he's shot and several times, and dies. Sparks and Ginny look around at who could have killed a being with two sets of cosmic powers, and an unknown man, who is crackling with energy, enters.

The man introduces himself as Ezra Seldom, and sops up the two sets of The Force Galactic. He says he's looking for The Red Plains Rider, not the one present, but the one from this universe. Sparks says that even though Ezra has at least two sets of The Force Galactic, if he wants to get to Red, he'll have to go through him. Croach, Ginny and all of the alternate versions present agree.

Notes and References

  • This episode was a part of the 2014 Christmas Episode, however like the USSA episode New Frontiers, it was released separately on its own.
  • The episode's title is a reference to Crisis on Infinite Earths, a landmark storyline in DC Comics.
  • Misha Collins is listed in the credits as playing a version of Sparks Nevada, but he does not actually appear in this episode. Confirmation was given via @thrillingadv twitter.
  • Mark Gagliardi flubs the opening line of the episode, says he's going to start over, beginning with the song, and sings the first few words of the theme song. Hal Lublin then says the last Folksy Hal line of the introduction, and the episode proceeds normally.
  • It's probable, but not outright stated, that at least some of the alternate universe versions of characters are from The Barkeep's alternate realities which he confessed to creating in Cosmic Sans to help clear out his writer's block. Chesh holds the same Force Galactic which the Barkeep had until the very end of the previous episode and Chesh acquired the powers at the same time as the episode begins.
  • Sparks mentions that Croach gets weird in space, as previously seen in Moonfaker.
  • The Saloon Doors briefly outlines the events of The Piano has Been Thinking. This alternate version of the Doors did not have the events of Mercy Killing happen to her, and thus remains La Diabla.
  • Croach's drinking problem began in The Piano has Been Thinking and continued until his death in Red Alert, where it was learned that alcohol bonds with Nah Nohtek and renders it inert. Drinking doesn't kill martians, it just allows them to die as easily as those without Nah Nohtek.
  • Croach says he is publicly against teleportation, but privately he likes it. Croach's feelings on teleportation hadn't been mentioned in current podcast canon, though he railed against it in the M Bar-era The Thrilling Adventure Hour in The Room Live episode, "Terror in 2001 Feet".
  • The Dream version of Croach appeared in Sparks' dreams while Croach was dead in Sweet and Showdown, Murder in his Place and was referenced in the beginning of Croach Returns.
  • The Sparks the Human story version of Sparks appeared in the first Christmas on Mars, although that version was played by Martin Starr and was male.
  • It's unknown if the backstory to the male Red Plains Rider and his family is the exact same story as the regular Red Plains Rider's. The details we know are similar up until the robots slaughtering the martians. However, as robots rule Mars in his version of reality, the current situation is very different.
  • The Earth's Moon war Red references is likely the War for Earth's Moon, which Sparks fought in with Mr. Horner. It's possible that his universes' Sparks died in that war.
  • Chesh was originally captured by Red in Carbonite-mare, then Cactoid Jim later ensured he would go to jail forever at his trial, thus, the Chesh's vendetta.
  • Chesh can't currently find Cactoid Jim, as Jim is currently in the year 2525 (or closely thereafter) as he returned there during the events of The Once and Future Thing.



This episode was recorded at Largo on December 6th, 2014 and released on February 2nd, 2015.