Cosmic Sans is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars.
- Sparks Nevada - Marc Evan Jackson
- Croach the Tracker - Mark Gagliardi
- Barkeep - Joshua Malina
- The Saloon Doors - Annie Savage
- The Red Plains Rider, via the Barkeep - Joshua Malina
- Folksy Hal (Narrator) - Hal Lublin
Sparks and Ginny enter the Space Saloon. Ginny asks the Doors to call her Ginny, and the Doors refuses. Ginny says she understands, as the Doors' history with troubleshooters isn't great, though now Saloon AI is considered good tech. The Doors, happy to hear this, thanks Ginny and calls her by name.
Sparks mentions that he and Ginny are there to meet Croach and Red for a double date, and the Doors are surprised to hear Croach and Red are now together romantically. She admits she again has feelings for Croach, but she recognizes them for what they are and aren't, and refuses to be fixed by both Ginny and the Barkeep.
Croach arrives, then states that Red isn't there as she's helping Pemily Stallwark and Dolores County return Chesh Glutterfane to custody after he escaped while being transported to maximum security prison. Sparks says he and Croach won't go to assist unless they call for help. Instead, they order drinks from The Barkeep.
The space rotguts that Sparks and Ginny order come with flowers in the glass. The Barkeep says that the flowers come from Mindua, tended to by artisian Minduan gardners. Sparks notes that there's no intelligent life on Mindua, and the Barkeep admits that life evolved on Mindua after he was there practicing using The Force Galactic and "nudged" intelligent life, while he was busying "tidying up." Sparks and Croach protest that that's against the natural order of the universe and had to break several space laws. Nonetheless, Sparks and Ginny agree that the Minduan flowers in the glass made the rotgut tidy.
Sparks notes that Barkeep has been using his space powers a lot more recently, and Barkeep protests that he's just been "tidying up." He says he also tidied up the Battle Lords from Fumfum-6 and their War Machines which consumed conflict for energy to Dance Machines which eat Dance which their unitards and dance belt digested for energy. Sparks, Ginny and Croach protest, but the Barkeep insists there will be no repercussions.
Harold T'shar, a representative for The Galaxium arrives, and has the Barkeep take a walk with him outside. He explains that when V'stalu of the Galaxium imbued him with The Force Galactic, it was a fluke, he wasn't supposed to keep the powers, the powers are not a toy.
The Galaxium has seen all of the things the Barkeep has been doing lately and protest. Harold points out that in addition to changing the Battle Lords, he's also been creating many parallel universes where he changes things about his friends, including their genders, choices, and relationships, including a universe where they're all friends in high school, and writes about them to cure his writer's block.
Harold says that all of this abusing of his power is causing The Galaxium to take The Force Galactic from the Barkeep. He's also there to let them know that there is a planet-consuming entity, who is also imbued with the Force Galactic, Keith Gonzalez, The Worldivore, heading towards Mars.
Sparks and Harold take a walk outside to talk. Sparks asks if Keith is so powerful that only another person with The Force Galactic can stop him. Keith, who used to be a representative of the Galaxium, embezzled Galaxium energy. Sparks asks if someone else can have Barkeep's powers to stop Keith, and Harold says that's the other reason he's here -- to imbue one of the great heroes of Mars with the powers to save the planet.
All of the heroes, save Red, are assembled -- Sparks, Croach, and Ginny, who Harold says the Galaxium counts as she's saved the universe more than anyone else present. The Barkeep uses The Force Galactic to switch his consciousness with Red, so she has a say in the proceedings. Croach insists that the Force Galactic should go to Red, who in turns insists that Croach should get the powers as he learned heroism from her. Ginny then says that Sparks should be imbued. And Sparks agrees.
Red, Croach and even Ginny boggle at Sparks' audacity, but Sparks insists that he's correct and he's just respecting Ginny's opinion, though Croach and Red try to nudge him to see how he might be hurting Ginny's feelings.
Keith Gonzalez then arrives above Mars, and Sparks reluctantly says to give the powers to Ginny, who refuses as she knows he's saying it reluctantly. Sparks says he's just going to go outside and fix the situation with or without powers, and hopes Ginny follows him.
The Barkeep switches his consciousness back to his own body, and says he went and fixed the problem while the others were hashing things out. Keith isn't such a bad guy, he was there to talk to Barkeep. He didn't embezzle his powers, it was accidental absorbing. Keith only eats unpopulated planets and almost accidentally ate a planet Barkeep populated. Barkeep took Keith's Force Galactic, and returned Keith to Earth, where he belongs. He asks Harold to take his powers, and Harold notes that real heroes always ask for the powers to be removed after the threat has passed.
Sparks says that Barkeep must be heroic after all, then Harold takes both his powers and Keith's from Barkeep. Sparks notes that by nearly keeping Keith's powers, Barkeep isn't so heroic after all, but neither was he himself, he was too caught up in trying to save the day to pay mind to Ginny's feelings, and Ginny forgives him for his imperfections.
Sparks, Ginny, and Croach leave to the Earth's Moon to help Red, Pemily and Dolores for their double date. Barkeep serves Harold a space rotgut as the episode ends.
- Although the episode credits and Brian Stack's introduction say that Annie Savage playing The Marshal Station Doors, she is, in fact, playing The Saloon Doors.
- In the introduction, Sparks becomes annoyed when Folksy Hal not only introduces Croach, but also the Barkeep, Ginny, and even The Saloon Doors before the theme song.
- The Battle Lords from Fumfum-6 have been seen before -- when Sparks battled Cring the Cruel in the opening of Companeros.
- The "walk and talks" are a reference to the walk and talks on the TV show The West Wing, a show of which both Malina and Whitford were cast members. At one point Whitford can be heard commenting "Oh, I'm walking, baby! I never stopped!"
- This is the 193rd episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour.
- The previous episode is Beyond Belief - The Skeleton Brief.
- The next episode is Down in Moonshine Holler - Just Desserts, with the ad "Bucatino Business #6" in between.
- The previous episode in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars canon is Custard's Last Stand (TAH #190).
- The next episode in Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars canon is Crisis on Infinite Marses part 2 (TAH #195).
This episode was recorded at Largo on November 10, 2014 and released on January 12, 2015.