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Cosmic Rotation is an episode of Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars released From the Vault.


Cosmic Rotation on Megaphone


WorkJuice Players

Guest Stars

  • Eric Kufs
  • Adam Busch
  • Jordan Katz


Sparks and Croach, having taken care of most of the dangers on Mars, are bored and comparing whos shadows are longer. They go outside to check, and continue to bicker and get on each other's nerves.

Two androids approach talk to each other at length about how they are superior to robots and whether Sparks and Croach are in fact Sparks and Croach, not allowing Sparks and Croach to jump in the conversation. Eventually, they are able to confirm their identities and the androids are excited as they read about the pair in Rebecca Rose Rushmore's book. Sparks notes that he's now married, though his wife has been off-world for awhile. The androids note that Croach's name was typo'd as Crouch in the first run of the book, but corrected in the second run.

The androids tell Sparks and Croach that the music band known as Common Rotation is in town and they are about to play a free concert. Sparks and Croach both say Common Rotation are their favorite band, even if Croach doesn't enjoy their lyrics. Sparks also notes that Cactoid Jim got their studio sessions from their engineer bot, so Sparks was a fan since before their album came out. Croach then one-ups Sparks by saying that he was a fan since he was a youngling and Oblek the Hippest forsaw their coming and took the tribe to a concert before the band had even gone to a studio to record an album.

Common Rotation then enters and performs the song "Let me Die with my Trumpet in my Hand". During the musical bridge, Sparks and Croach continue to one-up each other. After the song, a townsperson notes that his wallet is gone, then Sparks and Croach note that their belongings are also missing. They suspect Cosmic Rotation are the thieves and Croach tracks them to the next town. After the performance, Common Rotation speak to Sparks and Croach, saying they are also big fans because of the book. A different townsperson comes by and says that their wallet has been stolen. After Croach asks if the band is stealing wallets, the andorids defend the band. Common Rotation insists that most andorids are kleptomaniacs, and talk at length about how their friendship makes the music sound so good.

During this speech, the androids steal Sparks' guns, and decide to shoot him with them. Croach throws himself in front of the shots, but lives due to Nah Nohtek. As Croach regenerates, Common Rotation beats up the androids. Sparks and Croach, touched by the strong friendship of Common Rotation, make up from their bickering. Common Rotation then perform the Sparks Nevada Theme Song.


  • Cal Plamby for KEEPS Hair Removal Treatment


  • The main plot of this episode was later re-used in podcast canon during the episode Still Alive (TAH #234), with the addition of the plot of Sparks Nevada meeting the real Virginia West.
  • Although Sparks notes that he's married in this episode, he does not state who he is married to. Likely, he is married to Ginny West, as it has been confirmed from previous interviews that Sparks married Ginny in M Bar canon. It's unknown if Ginny turns out to be a Jupiter Spy in M Bar canon, though Sparks is likely single by the final M Bar episode.
  • The episode credits do not include who played the androids and narrator, this is currently unknown.



This episode was recorded at M Bar on October 7, 2007. It was released on April 15, 2019.