- Banjo Bindlestuff - Craig Cackowski
- Gummy - Hal Lublin
- Helie - Annie Savage
- Romulus Von Piper - James Urbaniak
Banjo and Gummy head east, and on the train they hop they meet Mr. Grandpa and Curious Pete. Pete asks a lot of questions, as is his nature, but aside from wanting to know a lot about Banjo, he also wonders why they aren't caroling if it's Christmas. Banjo points out that it's December 24th. They hop off the train, and then Mr. Grandpa suggests they get to caroling, and set off to find someone to carol to.
A woman and a girl are a nearby field is singing, next to an undernourished cow. They sing the song Woe is Me. Banjo thinks they might be in Moonshine Holler, but Curious Pete and Mr. Grandpa rebuff him, and soon leave.
Gummy and Banjo approach the women, who are still crying. She denies that she is the hobo princess, but a farmeress, and the black and frozen field they are standing on is her farm. The land, they say, hates her and hated her late husband. The land so hated her husband so much it coughed back black bile at them. They say they no longer believe in Santa Claus and that night they expect a visit from Von Piper tonight, who will forclose on the farm.
Banjo waxes about what he should do, and sings a reprise of Woe is Me, but Gummy reminds him he can't use money to solve the problem, as it's not the hobo way, and instead suggests they shiv Von Piper. Banjo puts his foot down on the shivving while trying to think of another solution.
Von Piper arrives, who Gummy mistakes for Santa Claus. Von Piper, Heile and Melody sing Time to Pay Von Piper, then Von Piper declares he must pay him. He then says he is dressed as Santa Claus because he just came from the office Christmas party at the bank where he was Father Christmas. He offers to buy the land from Melody for $200 for the farm and take Helie as a child bride. Melody refuses.
Banjo tells Von Piper he will get his comeuppance and Von Piper laughs at this, saying Banjo reminds him of a spoiled child he knew once named Jasper Manorlodge. Banjo then realizes that the land they're standing on isn't black because it hates its owners, but because it sits on top of untapped veins of coal. The blackness is cold dust, thus Melody already has a fortune and does not need to sell to Von Piper. Von Piper leaves, then Mr. Grandpa and Curious Pete return with several other hobo friends, and everyone sings the carol Ho-Ho-Hobo Christmas.
The full Christmas on Mars episode from 2010 is the 52nd episode of The Thrilling Adventure Hour. The previous episode is #52 Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars - A Mind is a Terrible Thing... In Space! The next episode is #53 Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars - War of the World. The previous episode in Down in Moonshine Holler canon is #38 This American Wife, and the next is #84 Nativity Ploy.
This episode was recorded at Largo on December 4, 2010 and released on December 19, 2011.